Wanna write right meow

Shocker - I can't sleep. Even the warm candle light and amazingly comfy bed isn't doing the trick. So, I'll right this wrong with a write.

Since we last spoke, I've had so much happen! Not one, not two, not even three, but SIX Americans came to visit me! Yes, SIX!!! Brent, Sheri, Art, Tiet, Geoff and Heidy all blessed me and jolly old England with their presence last week. Although I say this a lot and you're probably starting to think that I am as easy to make happy as a retard at Disneyland, we had the best time ever! We threw an American themed party inspired by our lives in the US, frat parties and the South Park movie Team America. It was amazing, I dressed up like The Statue of Liberty, but...and some will kill me for saying this, but I think we can do better. Granted we got very tipsy during the day, took too many keg stands the night before, didn't get home until 5am after dancing all night at Fabric...we still could have done better. I'm not dwelling on it, but I am eager to make it better fast! I honestly think that it was fate because Brent, Sheri and Geoff all got delayed and instead of being with us they got to spend a lovely night plotting the deaths of most of United Airlines' staff and their families! Brent even submitted a news request to CNN! Hahaha! CNN didn't show up to SFO and the other half of my American crew didn't show up to the party. :( This is not to say that there weren't highlights though. Here's my top ten:

10. Holli telling our amazingly stupid...ahem, I mean Polish "building manager" that we didn't need permission to throw the party b/c "We're American and we want to have an American themed party!" He didn't like that too much and walked away mid sentence, but to her credit, it did work when I forgot my ID at Fabric the night before. THANK GOD the bouncer lived in SF for fifteen plus years! I didn't want anyone to have to break out the knee pads. Holy shit - I'm so kidding! Sorry mama.

9. Walking into our "Leisure Center" (that name gives me the giggles) before the party to find Heidy in red hot pants, blue suede knee high boots and a giant felt American flag top hat hittin' the elliptical hard with the best serious face I've ever seen!

8. Falling into the bushes by the pool b/c I didn't feel like letting there be an extra 30 seconds between me and my next drink.

7. Holli telling a skank troll in our building that she didn't need her purse b/c "Tramps don't carry purses." To be fair, this girl was beyond on the prowl albeit blacked out, openly rejected the idea of people being taken and offered gang bangs in the sauna. There is no doubt she would have been deemed a chum bucket if Boris was anywhere within 15 yards of her. The man has a way with words and when he sees it, he calls it.

6. Trading clothes with Rossipoo and seeing how glorious my dress looked with chest hair, dress socks and no heels. He tried to Cinderella his way into my gold pumps, but that step sister didn't fit either! ;)

5. Watching a very drunk and very wet man go from lovin' the hot tub in his pink man panties, to screaming at me from the side of the pool to get him a towel (I could hear him perfectly - I just loved seeing him get mad and shake his long locks around) to passing out on the couch in our lobby. I think we should date, don't you?

4. Asking Keith, a fellow American living in London, what it felt like to be "schooled by a statue" when I kicked his ass for the umteenth time in flip cup.

3. Having Jose Cuervo poured down my throat by a bunch of break dancing masters/PhD science geeks dressed like Mexicans.

2. Discovering the God of Mem.

and last...but not least...

1. Having an amazing snuggle/spoonfest heart-to-heart at 5:30am with my bed mates Hols and Haywood that led me down a path of about a million questions about love, life, good people, bad people, cheaters, losers, faith, joy, sunshine and more love to...get ready for this...me asking "seriously, why are there so many seagulls here?" Hahahahahaaa! I did and I still wonder.

Right, so I'm sorry, but it's nearly 3am now sooooo...good god that's one hell of a London influenced sentence...let's keep this going...and I'm knackered so I'm signing off for Bedfordshire. I reckon I might even have a duvet day tomorrow! Yes, they talk like that and you have to admit that it's kinda cute. Anyway, thanks for being there. Never forget that I love you - meow and forever!

Kim Jong Il says "Arec Barrwin" and I think it's fecking hilarious,

Hans Brix

Wait, that's only nine...MEOW!